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Promising Pharmaceuticals Internship Turns Out To Be Meth Lab

A Gettysburg College sophomore who wishes to remain anonymous, but whose name is John Schulz was disappointed to discover that his exciting springboard internship with a budding pharmaceutical company was, in fact, a meth lab.   “Dammit, not again,” said John who had apparently been duped like this before. “I showed up to the address, which … Continue reading Promising Pharmaceuticals Internship Turns Out To Be Meth Lab

Study shows 75% of campus squirrels infected with rabies

In a surprising new study, the CDC reported that 75% of squirrels on campus are infected with rabies. It is unclear where the breakout started (unconfirmed rumors claim a ravenous anthropology professor went rogue on an innocent squirrel) but when asked, students did not seem too concerned: “I dunno, I think it gives our school an edge” … Continue reading Study shows 75% of campus squirrels infected with rabies

Local Fraternity Brother Reprimanded for Respecting Women

Local fraternity brother Matthew Jones was reprimanded by his fraternity Sigma Tau Delta this past weekend. His pledge master Chad Anglosan III described the incident, “He saw a girl passed out on the couch and didn’t even do anything to her. He just put a blanket on her and left a glass of water on … Continue reading Local Fraternity Brother Reprimanded for Respecting Women

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